- If circumstances demand a career change, a move into real estate brokerage or tax collection shall be considered a lateral move and said individual may keep their pirate status.
- A pirate does not snuggle with an animal unless he is trying to snap its neck. But I guess that wouldn't really be "snuggling".
- A pirate may never wear another man's clothing unless he first kills that man.
- Two pirates must never share a bed or a hammock. It is perfectly acceptable for one pirate to sleep on the floor, or on a pile of treasure.
- Pirates do not wear eyeglasses or bifocals unless they are looking at a treasure map, and even then they are allowed only a monacle. Any comments about "Mr. Peanut" while wearing the monocle are prohibited.
- When setting out on a voyage, a pirate does not pack a suitcase. He is only to bring what he can carry under his arms, or what his wench can carry on her back.
- A pirate does not mow the lawn. Lawns are for landlubbers.
- Lifting or removing one's eyepatch is extremely impolite but is not considered an insult. It's just kinda gross. Likewise, one should never remove another pirate's eyepatch, except with a sword to the face.
- Pirates never use the words "fresh" or "feelings," and certainly not together (as in "I have that not-so-fresh feeling").
- A pirate must never visit a tanning salon. If he is not already tan enough from searching for treasure, he hasn't been searching hard enough.
Monday, October 1, 2018
Pirate Law Rule 4
Here is the Rule 4 of Pirate Law:
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