Monday, October 1, 2018

Pirate Law Rule no 07

This is the last rule of Pirate Law.

  1. Pirates do not clean up, except when gold falls out of a treasure chest. 
  2. Spilling rum is not acceptable, except in the act of "pouring some out for dead mateys". 
  3. A pirate may tell any tale of swashbuckling without being called on the details, as long as at least 51% of the story is true. 
  4. A pirate may never shave below the neck. Shaving above the neck is allowed, but only if the pirate shaves his entire head. In the presence of cannibals, a mohawk is acceptable. 
  5. No pirate may do the arm movements for "YMCA", or engage in country-western line-dancing. 
  6. Pirates do not say "please" or "thank you". The phrase "Arrr, I'll probably kill you tomorrow" is an acceptable alternative for "Thank you". 
  7. Should the ship's bow have a carving of a naked wench, mermaid, or something of the like, crew members should not touch it. Feeling up a wooden statue is unbecoming of a pirate. 
  8. Pirates do not "IM". The only instant message allowed is a sword through the chest. 
  9. Dental Hygiene for Pirates is not a priority. Should there be occasion, however, strong rum or salt water can be used as mouthwash. Anything "minty fresh" is strictly forbidden. 
  10. Pirates never, ever obey laws. Period. Ironic, I realize.

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