Monday, October 1, 2018

Pirate Law Rule No 6

Here is the rule no 6 of Pirate Law:

  1. While creativity is encouraged during any barfight or battle at sea, pirates may only use the following types of the sword; falchions, scimitars, rapiers, and particularly long knives. Katanas or any other Ninja sword are strictly forbidden, unless the Pirate rips off a Ninja's arm and hurls the arm, and attached Katana, as a projectile. 
  2. No pirate shall ever sit on a toilet seat, for any reason. 
  3. Kidnapping is an acceptable substitute for killing, but only if it is for the purpose of plank walking at a later time. 
  4. When swimming, pirates do not dive. They cannonball. 
  5. Cannoneers aboard a pirate vessel are not allowed to use hearing protection of any sort. No matter what the OSHA regulations say, if ye can't stand bleedin' from the ears, you have no business being a Pirate. 
  6. A pirate will never wear a patch that is any other color than black; unless it's Halloween. then they can wear a patch with an eyeball painted on the outside. Polka dots are not permitted under any circumstances. 
  7. Female pirates are allowed some exception to rules concerning hygiene and garments but must make up for it by using twice as much profanity. 
  8. Hooks are the only acceptable hand substitute. However, they may not have secondary attachments such as screwdrivers, bottle openers, corkscrews, or nail files. These are Pirates we're talking about, not Inspector Gadget. 
  9. A pirate's diet consists mainly of meat. If at sea, and meat is not available, shoe leather is an acceptable replacement. 
  10. Pirate Law: You can't spell pirate, without "irate". There's a reason for that, so don't even try. 

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